Writing Sample – The Last Four

Hello!

Today I’m posting a sample of my writing from my novel, The Last Four. The novel is set in a dystopian future where humanity is controlled by a thought-recording chip implanted by the government at birth. Every person has this chip except for four teens who have escaped for various reasons revealed in the book. The book is still in its rough stages as I am currently working on my second draft. This is a paragraph from what will become the first chapter, when one of my main characters, Solara, is escaping her house before she is captured.

Her feet touched the ground, the cold snow crunching beneath her fur-lined boots. Flinging herself up against the dark grey house, she waited for a few anxious minutes to make sure her landing was undetected. She held her breath, afraid that even that little sound would give her away. She waited, but there was nothing, no sounds. No one had heard. Taking a deep breath, it dawned on her that her escape for freedom would be a lot harder than she had ever thought. She dropped to her knees and started crawling around the corner, keeping her body low to the ground.

“Sir, the door appears to be locked. Should I check around the house?” She could hear the voice of one of the Defenders.

“Go ahead. Search the surrounding area and determine if the citizen has indeed escaped,” the autocratic voice of the Commander spoke.

The voices faded into the thud of heavy footsteps that pounded closer to her position. She froze, knowing she had to do something fast. Her numb fingers worked at the buckle that held the bow against her. Her fingers picked and pressed, but to no avail; it was stuck. She glanced up, frightened, and seeing nothing so far, she continued working at it. Finally, with a slight leathery creak, it slipped off, letting her breathe a sigh of relief. With one fluid motion, she notched one of her red – tipped arrows to her bowstring and, crouching, she waited intently for his approach. The unsuspecting officer stepped into the dull patch of moonlight. The snow threw the light back up on his shiny black armor.

She stood and aimed the arrow straight at the Defender. He froze, the black mask of the helmet covering his shock. “Stay silent or I fire,” she hissed into the darkness, her eyes fierce and desperate, making real her threat.

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! 🙂 Kind criticism is welcomed.

~ Kayla

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