Who knew that Bard from The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug and Will Turner from Pirates of the Carribbean looked so much alike? Back in June, when the first Hobbit trailer was released, I could have sworn that Bard was played by Orlando Bloom. Somehow he got two roles in the film. Of course, I quickly realized that wasn’t true. Well, fast forward a few months to November. I watched Pirates of The Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl for the first time. When I saw Will Turner the first thing I said was, “It’s Bard!” And then I thought, “What if Jack met Bard and thought he was Will?” So I decided to write a little crossover/what if scenario. Note: This part is the intro, Jack arriving in Lake-town, so the Will/Bard fun begins next week, in case you were wondering where Bard was. 😉
The citizens of Lake-town gathered on the piers and foot bridges of their little city and stared out at the water and at the strange ship sailing into port. While ships sailing into their village were not unusual, this ship certainly was. It was bigger than most any the villagers had seen with distinctive black sails and hull. The townspeople whispered among themselves as the large ship floated across the still lake waters. One of the townspeople pointed to something on the main mast. It didn’t take long for the cry of “It’s a man!” to go through the crowds. Indeed, it was a man. From the view of the inhabitants, they could just make out his three-cornered hat and long black coat. Hoping for some unexpected excitement in the usually tedious town, many people hurried to the main dock as the ship glided slowly up. A long, snake-like rope slithered down from the sails. The townspeople stepped back, giving wide berth to whatever might descend. They watched, riveted, as the man on top of the mast slid down the rope and onto the deck. A consensus was reached throughout the throng that perhaps this wasn’t the most honest sailor out there, although no one could agree on who he was. Presently, the man, having secured his ship, appeared on the dock. There was absolute silence even as the crowd grew and jostled, everyone wanting a clear view of this stranger. Finally, a small, pale, greasy man pushed his way through to the newcomer.
“I am Alfrid, advisor to the Master of Lake-town. Any ship that sails into Lake-town must be searched by order of the Master for the protection of this town and people.” He smiled slyly.
The man wearing the three-cornered hat stepped forward. “Nice to meet you, mate. Name’s Captain Jack Sparrow.”
Alfrid just laughed slightly, and insisted again, “Sir, we’ll have to search your ship. Every vessel’s cargo must be verified. Is there anything on your ship we should be aware of?”
Captain Sparrow motioned to the ship with a shrug. “Stolen goods, a few pieces of gold, an undead monkey … I’m a pirate, really anything is possible.”
The Lake-town men climbed aboard the ship and started to search in every nook and cranny; they were practically pulling up every board that made up the ship. Finally, one of the men held an object over his head. “I found something, sir!”
Alfrid walked up to the starboard side, and the man tossed the object down to him. Alfrid caught the thing and inspected it, laughing slightly. “Why, it’s a jar.”
“Not just any jar, mate, but a jar of dirt,” corrected Captain Sparrow.
Alfrid looked at him, and then back down at the jar of dirt. “So, Jack Sparrow –”
“Captain,” interrupted Captain Jack Sparrow. “Captain Jack Sparrow.”
“My apologies,” sighed Alfrid. “What is inside this so-called jar of dirt?”
“What do you think’s inside it?” asked Captain Sparrow.
“Gold, perhaps,” Alfrid’s eyes glittered greedily.
“You and me both wish that, mate. Actually, inside that jar is actually what is in the name of the jar, and said name of said jar would be jar of dirt. Savvy?” said Jack, making motions with his hands.
“I see,” said Alfrid, though everyone could tell that he indeed did not. “And why do you have this jar of dirt?”
“Clearly you’ve never been chased by Davy Jones,” responded Jack.
Alfrid nodded, almost mechanically. “I see, I see,” he kept repeating, though no one thought he did. “Well, I think I’ll have to confiscate this jar of dirt,” Alfrid began, “since there are no jars of dirt allowed into Lake-town.”
“My jar of dirt!” Captain Sparrow protested, snatching at the jar in Alfrid’s hands.
“Captain, I am afraid I need said jar!” Alfrid gripped the jar, trying to wrestle it free from Captain Sparrow’s grasp.
“No!” cried Jack, locking his arms around the jar. It turned out that the Captain was a tad stronger than Alfrid, and he tugged it out of Alfrid’s hands.
Sweating heavily and realizing he had been beaten, Alfrid gave Jack an evil look, and turned towards the men. “Men, take Captain Sparrow to the Master of Lake-town. Perhaps he can convince Captain Sparrow to let go of his treasure.”
“No one steals another man’s jar of dirt,” Jack said defensively, keeping his arms around his special jar. “Is that clear, mate?”
“We’ll see what the Master of Lake-town has to say about this, Captain Sparrow!” announced Alfrid as the men surrounded Jack and his jar of dirt.
Stay tuned next week to find out what happens when Jack meets the Master of Lake-town and a certain bowman!