Disclaimer: I do not own Merry or Pippin. They popped by and asked if I’d like a day off since they’d like to guest post on my blog. I said yes, and here they are!
Hello, fellow hobbits of the Shire and any other man, dwarf, elf, or other creature reading this today! Merry here. Pippin and I have been learning so much about grammar we’ve been nominated as Grammar Guards, dedicated to protecting English usage throughout the Shire. We even have special uniforms we wear when we’re out on patrol! We’ve been finding grammar mistakes all across the land. Today, we’ve rounded up a couple we’ve spotted and are sharing them in what Pippin has dubbed “The Hall of Grammar Mistakes.” Now, Pippin, put down that carrot and bring me the first card. No, not that one. That other one.
We saw this mistake on an appointment card for a dentist. (Didn’t know we had those in Middle Earth, did you?). Pippin was there because he needed a tooth pulled. He had cracked it when he fell off a table while he was dancing at the Green Dragon. He hit his head on the edge of the table, and that poor tooth just cracked in half. Ouch! There was so much blood! Rosie was so mad that we had made such a mess that she threw us out of the Green Dragon with a prohibition against any future dancing on tables. Anyway, when we received the appointment card, Pippin saw this mistake right away. He kept pointing to it because he couldn’t speak with all that gauze in his mouth, of course, and I finally realized what he was trying to tell me. There’s not supposed to be a comma between appointment and is. We both agree a misplaced comma is a loss to everyone.
One of our fellow hobbits sent us a letter with this ending as a “thank you” for the wonderful apples Pippin shared with him. Unfortunately, the letter’s closing is incorrect. Pippin suggested he should change it to read “Thank you. From, Unknown Hobbit” (The name has been changed to protect the identity of this hobbit.) Then, Pippin told him he wouldn’t share any more apples until he had fixed his grammar mistake. Now the two are no longer talking. Perhaps you took your authority as a Grammar Guard a bit too far there, Pip!
This was spotted in song lyrics. We were supposed to be practicing singing for a birthday party when Pippin suddenly stopped singing and pointed to the page. “It should be ‘you’re my hope’ instead of ‘your my hope’,” he explained to the other mystified hobbits. Thankfully, one of the hobbits had quill and ink, and we were able to fix the grammar mistake before anyone else saw it. Grammar Guards to the rescue again!
Officers could not find the third person, beloved to be a man.
I was reading my local Shire newspaper one fine morning with a cup of hot tea when I found this mistake. I almost spit my tea out I was so horrified! Even though this isn’t a grammar mistake, the Grammar Guards had to take action! I showed our local Shire editor, and he was very apologetic. Because of that (and the fact that he offered me a strawberry tart), I didn’t see the need to arrest him for the mistake.
Even though we’ve been appointed Grammar Guards with special uniforms, we’re still learning about grammar ourselves. We’re not perfect (and sometimes we even make grammar mistakes!), but we try our best to correct grammar throughout the Shire and help our fellow hobbits learn. We’ll be back another time with more grammar errors to add to the Hall of Grammar Mistakes.
Have you found any horrible or funny grammar mistakes before? If so, what were they? Let us know in the comments below!
~ Merry and Pippin